Healing and Repair

2019 — In With A Beam

pic of sky at dawn and ocean splash against rocks

This is an EXPANSION conversation; an update of sorts!

I dreamed of being on a train and having someone else’s bag, then seeing my bag hanging on a door handle and grabbing it before I get off. Also being close to people on the train and not wanting to be. Feeling as if people were leaving me or I was going somewhere without them —i was listening to an audio about childhood and how to leave that stuff behind and I fell asleep on it and had these dreams. 

Now the sun is beaming onto my face and its 9:57AM and it feels so good. I’m wondering allowing my mind to go to different places and realizing i can choose not to let my mind go, but keep it or direct it where I want it to go. The wind is making itself heard in response to this thought. I am indeed like nature and winds blow and sometimes contain anger huff and the sweep of love. This last results in my desire to just hug a person with… not vengeance but that comes to mind because i feel i’m giving them something protective. Not even that they asked for it but it’s just is there for them to accept or reject. And i see myself feeling like a white woman when her black friend rejects her attempt at understanding. 

This age of celebration of about and for African descendants is one of power self-generation abundance responsibility unity and integrity and it has to be stated directly because unless it is, my people will languish in despair as if they don’t know their Creator of heavens and earths. 

Something outside just fell as if to punctuate my words. This is how my thoughts resonate in my world these days. I cannot escape or shy away from my interconnectedness with nature and life and if this is an illusion then of course there is no coincidence just that divine coincide-dance that picks and chooses to mirror or emanate or crystallize thought.

And while I’ve increased my service to the Int’l Black Summit by declaring Communication Team Leader this has ramifications that I want to point to my growth. Growing by asking for team members growing by specifying what I see so people can follow up on growing by making requests that seem hard to make because I also see people’s capacity and where i sense the limit, pushing them past that without too much commiseration is the work for me. This is the struggle I had with people I supervised when I worked. I didn’t want to task them to go beyond just as I don’t want to task myself to be rich in dollars and show up for that goal. 

This brings me to thoughts about 90% being about showing up and being available and for me, looking like I’m going to work every morning or several mornings a week, because just showing up equates to a certain level of feeling good that I’m raw at mastering. Feel good in God knowing I’ll be taken care of no matter what is my Rock, my Peter hahaha (Peter Goldberg is my Reiki teacher). Feeling good in the virtual so-called reality 3rd dimensional space requires the reiki meditation aroma freedom and tapping and it’s like i must transform my body connection to be at peace in this space and sometimes don’t feel like it.

This work is also to travel through these periods of freedom and abandon and laziness or comfort zoning and accept being there when i’m present to them. I accept Petal’s coaching there is no rightness about how I be in the world and no wrongness about communications if they are not in their fullest iteration. Rather than Mars fighting the Sun in the 6th in Leo for what it sees as danger, the depths of the 12th house in opposition can transform dark corners so they reveal lights.  

I shall make my own Brain Powerhouse out of SANDALWOOD, CEDARWOOD, FRANKINCENSE, MELISSA, BLUE CYPRESS, LAVENDER AND HELICHRYSUM. Based on Gary Young’s original formula AND knowing there’s probably a secret in there Allah will reveal to me as I blend. 

And God has also sent me a HealMobile vehicle out of the blue, as is always the case. Peter (! haha both Peters are in my life right now!) Sullivan has introduced me to the Sky Way project that is international and astounding because it can help to change Africa and all kinds of small cities. This is so exciting. And I have to recognize it’s just another thread God has given me to have a good hard look at, fitting closely as it does with my city planning background and desire to impact the world in a long-lasting way that defies categorization. There I said it!

This childhood dream that psychologists have shown all children have, to basically see themselves in lights that remind their souls of the light travelers they came from or traveled through, cannot be denied by me. I am particularly struck when people say they want no publicity, fame or glory —as a Leo Sun this is almost impossible for me to innerstand— however when I stand under the aegis of the grip this material world has on people, and how they sense it is a temporary trap, I fully appreciate the desire to not identify with any form of so-called stardom.

Fact is, coming through the birth canal having gestated into material fullness prior to that, the physical reality of earthly stardom is mere metaphor for the brightness a human being is. Of course this Kongolese concept is shared by many, many other peoples. When I think of the joy my Lord talks about in the Quran—you don’t know what joy awaits you in return for your works— (32:17,10:64) I see myself as a beam of light dancing around other beams of light having a good time, causing others to glow even more, zooming away from them to join bigger or brighter beams and allowing myself to bask and glow in their light. What a joyous time. How can I not aspire to that while here in this plane? Another reason I love the International Black Summit. What Jake calls The Dance.

Meanwhile the Angel Michael through some channel declares we must prepare ourselves for elevation to the light. He/she doesn’t know that the rituals of the Quran allow us a perfect template for the required behaviors, and I tried to tell this truth in my 2nd book, Nine Principles for Loving Living, and I found myself unable or unwilling to promote the book as I should. 

All of this unwilling business is the physical world gripping. I get that now. As I remain human I shall, inshaAllah, continue to transmute the kick-the-tires behaviors seeking what’s wrong (oh, what we editors aim to do for another’s perfect writing) into a standing still and beholding the perfection of what is THIS physical/nonphysical thing before me now! When I’m in this space I am silent and have nothing to offer because it is all good and my divinity will only allow a blessing not a criticism to escape from my lips. 

And now the judgment energy I reveal in my speaking/dealings perhaps can be excused by those who know my love is just generating a bit forceful discernment in that moment. Orin, what comes to mind is the christmas carol, “Do you see what I see?” And the answer is invariably no Niamo so Joyce and Susan say keep looking and I interpret it as think through the feeling range of mountains and explore the chasm or pyramid if you must and say nothing until the whole is pineal-ly innerstood. Therefore if and when I am quiet this is why. I am ruminating and please allow me to take my time. Funny my last post for the Healmobile discussed grounding (by the time you read this I may have added the oils).  

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